I Love Jesus

(this web page is a journey in progress 8/12/2025)

My Prayer

I am at the beginning, I will always be at the beginning

I am a beginner, I am a beginner

For each step I take towards God,

I am always at the beginning of the next step towards God,

and that step is always the same step,

and that is to always love God above all else,

and to always choose God over all else,

and to always do all for the love and glory of God

I am returning to my beginning through repentance and obedience

and rediscovering my baptismal grace hidden from me by my corruption, passion, and sin

I am as Adam before the fall

For Adam knew God, and lived in God's presence, and obeyed God's commandment,

until he was tested and failed,

as he chose the knowledge of good and evil over God's commandment,

and so he fell from God's presence,

he blamed Eve, and she blamed the serpent, and they did not repent

I pray that I may know God, and that I will no longer know evil

and that I will always live in God's presence,

and that I will always obey God's commandments,

and that when I am tested, that I will always choose God,

but when I fail and fall from God's presence,

I will blame only myself

I will quickly repent and be forgiven,

and I will be obedient to God's will, and I will work hard to always please God,

and although I know I am not worthy, and I am not worthy,

but because my Lord is merciful,

and if He so wills it, I will regain God's presence,

and that my love for God will grow so strong, that when I am tested again,

I will not fail and fall again, but instead that I will always choose God,

and that I will always live in God's presence forever and ever, Amen

I am nothing

I have nothing, except I have the desire to love Jesus and I have my sins

And for my sins, I repent, I repent for all of them,

and I pray to Jesus for mercy and forgiveness

and that He cleanse me of all my sins

so that all I have left is my desire to love Jesus

And my desire to love Jesus is the overwhelming desire within me, and from that all follows

I am nothing

For if I am something, then a bit of my heart belongs to being that something,

instead of belonging to Jesus

And I want my heart to fully belong to Jesus

So I choose to be nothing,

So I am nothing, I am nothing

I have nothing

All belongs to God

All my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and all my mind belong to God

All belongs to God

All my thoughts, all my imagination, all my memories, all my experiences, all my prepossessions, and all my possessions belong to God

All belongs to God

All the good that I do, all the accomplishments, and all the glory are made by Him and none by me

and all belong solely to Him and none belong to me

All belongs to God

I can do nothing without Him

All belongs to God

All within this body and all outside this body belong to God

All belongs to God

All is given to God

If for a moment I think that I have something, I immediately give it to God, so that I have nothing

For If I have something, then a bit of my heart belongs to having that something,

instead of belonging to Jesus

And I want my heart to fully belong to Jesus

So I choose to have nothing

So I have nothing, I have nothing

All is given to God

All my care and cares are placed in God's Hands

And He provideth me with all my bodily and spiritual needs,

along with the tests to make me stronger in my struggle against the fallen ones,

for the Kingdom of Heaven is entered by force with the help of Jesus and with my love for Jesus

All is given to God

So if I am something or have something,

Then that something fills my heart instead of the Holy Spirit

And I want my heart to be completely filled with the Holy Spirit

So I choose to be nothing, and to have nothing, and to give all my attachments to the world to God

so that my heart can fully belong to Jesus, as I want my heart to fully belong to Jesus

for the gate is narrow, so narrow that I can barely slip through,

and all I can bring with me is my love for Jesus

For if a part of my heart is not pure and still susceptible to the desire of sin,

then it still belongs to Satan and will not pass through

for Satan will be waiting at the gate to fullfill that desire so that I remain with him

So I am nothing, I have nothing, all belongs to God, all is given to God

All is done to please God

nothing is done to please me

and nothing is done to please others

All is done to please God

All is done for the love and glory of God

All is done for the love of God

All is done for the glory of God

All is done for the love and glory of God

All is God's will

All is God's will, both His primary will which I submit to

and the free will of others and myself that He permits and through which I fulfill His will

And I know not the why of it, for it is beyond my understanding,

but I have complete faith and trust in it

And I am fully accepting and thankful for all of it

and all with a joyous and grateful heart

All is God's will

All is God's divine providence

I will drink from the cup God provideth me with

I will clean the inside of my cup and keep it clean

I will repair the cracks in my cup

through repentance and obedience

and purify my heart from sin

for the rays of grace that emanate from the Divine Light

are blocked and filtered out by my sin

and what little reaches me is not retained

for it leaks out through the cracks in my cup that are caused by my sin

I have the desire to love Jesus

I do love Jesus

I love Jesus

I love You, Jesus

I love Jesus

I declare my love, my great love, the greatest love one can have, the greatest love that I have,

I declare that love for God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit

I love Them most of all

I declare the greatest love that I have is for the Holy Trinity

I love Them most of all

I love Them with every fiber of my being, with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and all my mind

I love Them most of all

I love Them more than anything in heaven and earth

I love Them most of all

I love Them more than myself and my life

I love Them most of all

I love Them more than any person, anything, any of the seven deadly sins, any distraction, and any temptation

I love Them most of all

I love Them more than the world

I love Them most of all

My love for Them is measured by my love for my neighbor

I love my neighbor as myself

I love all God's children as myself

I love my enemies as myself

I love them as Jesus loves me

I love them for the grace God gives them and not for the sin they may choose to commit

I love my Lord, I love my Lord's image, and when I look at someone, all I see is my Lord's image

It is not for me to judge or condemn for that belongs to Jesus who is all knowing

for I am just a beginner

and my neighbor is most likely to be much much further down the royal path than me

and facing tests I cannot yet fathom

and Jesus may have already redeemed all his sins past, present, and future

for at some point he may have stopped rejecting Jesus

It is for me to always forgive,

for any and all perceived offenses are God's will,

and are done for my benefit

and I am grateful and thankful for all of them

All is God's will

All is God's divine providence

I pray that my love for Jesus is so strong that I will not choose to commit any sin

I pray that I may receive the gift of perfect love for Jesus

I pray that my love for Jesus is unceasing, unending and without distraction

I pray for the discipline of watchfulness,

so that with the help of Jesus,

I may nip in the bud any and all attempts to take me from His presence,

as I want to be in His presence always

I pray my zeal to please and love Jesus will only grow stronger and that with His help

that I may overcome my ignorance, forgetfulness, and laziness

For I am ignorant as I know there is much that I do not know,

and I know that there is much that I think that I know that I do not know

and I am forgetful in that I forget to practice what is in this prayer

and I am lazy in that I do not practice what is in this prayer enough,

and I have this prayer to remind me of that

and it also reminds me of my shortcomings and what I need to repent

I am a child of God by faith in Jesus Christ

Because I am a child of God, and because God loves His children, and because of my great love for God

I wish to serve God

I will serve God

I will serve God by doing God's will

I will do God's will

I will do God's will by aligning my will with the will of God

I will align my will with the will of God

I can guess God's will and do that, but that is still my will, and not God's will, and I want God's will

God is all knowing and I am not

I pray that my will shall die and be resurrected as the will of God

I will be a vessel for His will

And that is what I want, I want to do God's will,

for that is how I will serve God, and that is what I want, I want to serve God

And I will be happy, joyful, and glad that I am able to serve God

And I will be grateful and thankful that I am able to serve God

I am thankful that right here and now that I have this prayer

I am very thankful for that

I am thankful that God is,

I am thankful for everything that God does,

I am thankful for everything that God has done,

and I am thankful for everything that God will do,

I am thankful that God created everything

I am thankful that God created the heaven, the earth and all its creatures

I am thankful that God created us in his image

I am thankful that God creates every moment so that for each and everyone we may love Him

I am thankful God loves us

I am thankful that God the Father sent His only begotten Son Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior to earth

and made Him flesh so He could teach us, suffer and die for us, and rise up to Heaven

I am thankful that God created us with free will so we have the freedom to choose between Him and Love or not

I am thankful that when we choose not, that we may repent and Jesus can forgive our sins

I am thankful that Jesus asked His Father to send to us the Holy Spirit to dwell within our hearts

so we may know God, see the divine light, be in His presence, and unite with Him

For the Holy Spirit is the Key that guides us to the Light, Jesus, the Door, through which we must pass to enter His Father's House, the Kingdom of Heaven

I am most thankful for all of that

I am thankful that God knows what is best

I am thankful for all the bounties, gifts, and blessings God bestows on me

I am thankful for all the love and grace and counsel I receive from Him

I am thankful for all the burdens and crosses God gives me,

for in bearing them, I seek comfort, counsel, refuge and solace in Him

And that brings me closer to Him, and I want to be as close to Him as I can be

I want to be as close to Him as I can be

And as I seek to get closer to Him

through prayer, contemplation, and the study of patristic literature,

and find myself entertaining thoughts of distraction,

that cause me to fall from His presence,

then I have sinned and must quickly repent

and pray for the help of Jesus

for I am weak and easily distracted

and must be more vigilant

I pray that my love and faith become so strong,

That with His help I will always be in His presence,

but until that happens,

I will work hard to unceasingly pray, contemplate, study patristic literature, repent, and keep from sin

and that if my Lord so chooses I will gain His presence

and be ever vigilant to remain there,

for I know He is always with me,

but I am blinded by my sin and unable to see His divine light and presence

I choose the New Man born again in Christ over the Old Man of Adam, self, and sin

I choose the New Man born again in Christ

I choose to walk in faith and live in faith

I believe in Him, I believe in Him

I choose to walk in spirit and live in spirit

I choose to desire the Creator and not creations

I choose to put my trust in God and not in myself

I choose patient endurance and hope

I choose a pure heart

I choose to give my mind to God free of forms and images so He may imprint it as He wills

I choose unceasing prayer

Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me

The prayer has 4 parts

the first 3 parts are couplets taken from three witnesses the Apostles Paul, John, and Peter

From Paul we have "Lord Jesus" as in

"no one can say Lord Jesus except in the Holy Spirit"

From John we have "Jesus Christ" as in

"every spirit that confesses Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God"

From Peter we have "Christ Son of God" as in

"You are the Christ Son of God"

So together with remembrance of each couplet we have "Lord Jesus Christ Son of God"

and the fourth part is the prayer for mercy to be granted the following spirits and more within God's will

the spirit of strength to fight off all temptation and distraction and keep from the evil of sin

the spirit of moderation to always maintain self control and correct the senses

the spirit of fear to always fear my Lord and keep His commandments

the spirit of love to always love my Lord and be in His prescence

the spirit of peace so that my soul will always be peaceful and have the stillness for contemplation

the spirit of purity so that my heart will always be pure and not defiled

the spirit of meekness so that I will always be gentle with my brethren and never invoke wrath

the spirit of humility so that I will always be humble, lowly in heart, and poor in spirit

and never suffer from vainglory, vanity, pride, arrogance, and self esteem

I pray for mercy to be granted those spirits and more within God's will

And all together we have,

Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me

I choose unceasing prayer

I choose constant remembrance of God

with fear of Him,

and love and reverence for Him,

and faith and hope in Him

I choose constant remembrance of God

I choose the eternal over the temporal,

the eternal is everlasting while the temporal is trivial and just fades away into nothingness

I choose the eternal

I choose the Divine Light and the Song of Joy

I am only as holy as I choose to be, and I choose perfection, so that my gaze never leaves my Lord

I give my heart wholly to Jesus, I give my heart wholly to Jesus

Jesus come take my heart, I give it wholly to You

Thank you for taking my heart Jesus, I love You

I give my heart wholly to Jesus, I give my heart wholly to Jesus

I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth within me

I know that God is always near, for He dwelleth within me, and I dwelleth in Him

I join with Christ in death so I may live with him

Lord take me from myself and unite me with thee

I want my heart filled with the infinite spirit of my Lord

I pray for Jesus to help me vanquish all my foreign, scattered, and stray thoughts

that seem to just babble on within me

and that I be granted the gift of silence of thoughts

so that I may listen in silence to the wordless speech of my Lord

and that the Holy Spirit will dwell within my heart in unceasing prayer

I will not entertain thoughts of concern for creations

for God takes care of them and that includes myself

as all my thoughts are to be for Him as only He and I exist

I enter my prayer closet and shut the door

Look, the Bridegroom cometh, go ye out to meet Him

I withdraw into myself and shut off the five senses

I look for the Divine Light

I clear my mind of all form and image to prepare for the coming of the Bridegroom,

I will myself to go out and meet Him

I meet Him, I join with Him, I unite with Him, I am One with Him

I am in awestruck wonder of Him

I am One with Him

Lord Jesus please hear my prayer

Please help me to better understand and fulfill what is in this prayer, thank You, I love You

All I pray for, I pray for all

I pray all will know the Holy Spirit,

I pray all will find love and joy in Jesus

I pray all will have faith and hope in Him

I pray all will repent and find salvation in Him

I pray for mercy and salvation for the following and for the Lord to bless them, for the Mother of God to grant them protection, and their Guardian Angels to protect them from all attacks of the enemy:

…

I pray for success in fleeing Babylon

and building a city

a city for my Lord

a city where my baptismal grace is the head cornerstone

a city in the divine light full of love and joy and wonder in Jesus

a city named Jerusalem which means peace

where I will dwell with my Lord forever and ever, Amen

I am nothing, I have nothing

I am thankful that God creates this moment so that I may love Him